Hiatus in life

It was a stormy Thursday night, i thought cosme was out of the country yet outside, it’s gloomy. The sky is dark with the promise of an impending
storm. The wind is starting to gather strength. It’s so quiet except
for the creaking sound on the windowpane as the wind tries to force its
way inside the room.

I divert my attention to the TV. Damn that cable! The reception is so bad I can’t make out anything on the tube.

I turn it off and look out again. I tried to keep my thoughts from
going to her but it’s not going to happen today. I miss her so bad. How
long has it been since we broke up? A month? More?

This room that used to be filled with her laughter is now so empty.
It’s as if she was never here at all. I feel so cold and so alone.

The rain starts to fall. On any other given day I would welcome
the downpour. It would be a good excuse to sit by the window and
cuddle. Now that she’s gone, the rain makes the pain even worse.

I have never known so much heartache.

I
feel so hollow and so devoid of anything. Anguish consumes me.

How can something so good hurts a lot? She was the essence of my life, the core of my being. 

I watched the wave crash angrily on the rock. I wonder what it feels like to be that rock. I wonder if I’ll feel any pain.

But all i can do sit and shut my mouth

We've been here beforeWe'll be here again so go on and rest your headBefore you lose it againWe're leaning on each otherOr at least I can pretendThat we didn't lose it all againIt could have been differentIt could have all been the sameBut now I'm standing at your front door, singing,

When everything's the sameAnd nothing ever changesWill you fall back into me, ohYou see, everything's estrangedA million empty facesSo will you fall back into me?

CongratulationsYou left me a little jaded and rejectedAnd so I lost it againYou chew me up, you throw awayAs I continue to pretendThat we didn't lose it all againI guess it's never differentI guess it's all the sameSo now I'm bloodied by my fist, clenched, swinging

When everything's the sameAnd nothing ever changesWill you fall back into me, ohYou see, everything's estrangedA million empty facesSo will you fall back into me?

I was a name across your lipsIt's time to spit me outI play the game; when my heart ripsIt's time to hear me out(Never do without)

When everything's the sameAnd nothing ever changesWill you fall back into meSee, everything's estrangedA million empty facesSo will you fall back into me?

(Will you fallWe'll be here againSo go on and rest your headBefore you lose it again)

We're leaning on each otherOr at least I can pretendThat we didn't lose it all again, all againLose it all again

Listen to the waves,
Everything communicates
Will it ever be
Anything more than wishful thinking?

Oh no there you go
Looked away and missed the show
how much wasted time
Will you survive?

Feel the blades of grass
How it brings you back
it will always be
Only as green as you can see

Oh no there you go
Looked away and missed the show
how much wasted time
Will you survive?
Oh yeah fooled again,
I don’t know how and I don’t know when
Not much else to blame
But wishful thinking

Little breakdowns
In coastal towns.
They come suddenly
Crashing over you.
They come easily.
I’m falling through the skies
And frozen places

Oh no there you go
Looked away and missed the show
how much wasted time
Will you survive?
Oh yeah fooled again,
I don’t know how and I don’t know when
Not much else to blame
But wishful thinking

And I try to realize
That I needn’t look any further
the whole of the universe
Is plain to see
And I try not to rely
On another world or the future
The whole of the universe is a mystery

And it gets me over
Yeah, it gets me over
and it gets me over
Yeah, it gets me over

maybe its time, its time to give up the fight, time to let go.  maybe its time to go and start a new chapter in my life. so many things had happened i tried to hold on for a little bit longer. but it seems the more i hold on the more it makes a scar that hurts so much. yet you still wish that she will comeback. but again there is reality that she will never be near you anymore. im not expecting any reaction from her at all anymore after i post this blog. it is just sad that after all this time you tried everything to make her consider but you came out weeping and all. atleast for the last i would try to understand her. after she posted a blog for me i was so torn up but thats it i cant do anything. but someone told me you already did your part maybe someday she would see it and you never know what might happen. i never grew tired of loving her and making her complete but in the end i always end up fighting for a lose cause. anyway i dont blame her thats the way she is.

Thanks for everything, the time spent with you, the dreams we shared together
it just didnt fit in the right time and place.

I think this might help the next one after me

10. If her back hurts try to massage it
9. Give her chance to do things she wants to do
8. Give her flowers once in a while even without occasions
7. Dance with her romantically even though their is no music
6. If she is stressed try to make her smile and feel comfortable
5. Sometimes try to cook for her or prepare breakfast for her
4. Do something sweet when you havent seen each other in a very long time
3. If she hits you it means that she is being sweet
2. Make her feel she is your princess
1. Love and understand her with all your heart

goodbye…